Egypt part 5. Five Stars

Five Stars

          If you're ever stuck shopping for a special gift, a Nile Cruise should do it. I'm going to pass it on when I can. It's an experience I won't forget and it did shake us out of our rural utopia of backaches and home repair. Luckily, our hosts had done it some years before; and although the experience has suffered somewhat, we benefited from their trailblazing, not to mention historical knowledge. 

towel crocodile provided by the
cleaners

     Day one began early with a walk across the gangplank to the big reception doors on the side of the vessel. That was an exciting moment. I fumbled with the video button on my phone and got some shots of peoples backs grunting luggage. But it turned out not to be our vessel. We walked right through it and out the other side. And into the big reception doors of another vessel. And out the other side. And into the big reception doors of another vessel. And out the other side. Each ship provided a grand hotel lobby designed by Trump Inc. All variations on somebody's idea of senseless opulence. I lost count but we finally came to a stop. Up a carpeted staircase to a circular mezzanine surrounding the Trump Inc. chandelier. Up another carpeted staircase and down a carpeted, darkly paneled corridor. Now it's getting low, tight and sort of ship-like. Framed paintings suggested the atmosphere of a Mozart era seraglio. Dark haired beauties wearing sultry expressions and clothing revealing anatomies unlike any seen ashore. Our two cabins were at the very end of the corridor. Top floor, full stern behind. Each cabin was crammed with two beds, a single blocking the large glass window and a double blocking everything else. Other amenities included a warm cabinet refrigerator, empty; drawer fronts that easily came away in oneś hand; wobbly light fixtures with very little light; one distant electrical outlet; and a small drinking glass. The mystery of the fetid

dampness was solved when I discovered a persistent drip wetting my back when visiting the loo. That also explained the wet carpeting. A crew member lifted out a ceiling panel revealing a water tank partially wrapped in electrical tape which clearly needed more electrical tape. We got that and a towel for the floor, but the drip never stopped and I found it best to take a small umbrella to the loo.

    It had been ten days since we arrived in Cairo and eleven since I last saw my old coffee machine. Or any coffee machine, surprisingly. All coffee up to that point had been brewed from Nescafe crystals and powdered milk substitute, so the cafeteria coffee reflux boilers and real milk were a welcome relief. Actually, as cafeteria food went, I thought it was pretty good and I wolfed down lots of it. What was disconcerting was the view out of the high window. River water lapped up at about eye level reminding one what the view might be like from one of the lifeboats, if you ever survived the rush out of the dining room. Further, it was best to forget the depth of the Nile channels. The draught of this monstrosity couldn´t be much. We were likely sitting in the bilge while sipping our watery coffee.

  The deck just above our berth held rank and file of sunbeds, a little swimming pool, an expensive masseuse, an expensive bar, and a lot of awnings to hide under. The deck offered a nice view of the surroundings including a lovely assortment of fellow tourists, mostly from Germany, running from just fat to clearly obese; and proudly naked. Or just. We spent a lot of time enjoying the view.
    These gigantic floating hotels must number in the hundreds. Often we would sail in the company of two or three others, enjoying their diesel exhaust and disturbing racket. In port, they would tie to each other sometimes in tens, reaching out into the channel. The most charming craft on the river was certainly not our floating hotel but the local sailing vessel, the felucca with its ancient, elegant, curving lanteen rig. They hardly look like efficient sailors but I noticed the prevailing wind blew upstream while one could always rely on the current to bring one home. We did spot a few two-masted excursion lanteens called dahabiya. These really evoked a by-gone period and the fact that every one I saw was dragged by a tug did not convince me of their seaworthiness. Whatever, when I dole out my Nile Cruise gift package, itś going to be on one of these.